Merk: Fiver
The Fiver Christmas Awards 2021
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Welcome to the 2021 Fiver Christmas Awards. For anyone counting, this is the fifth year of us admitting that we’ve lost track of how long we’ve been doing this, so the all-time total has to be in double figures at lea...
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Every weekday, we’ll deliver a roundup the football news and gossip in our own belligerent, sometimes intelligent and – very occasionally – funny way. Still not convinced? Find out what you’re missing here. Explore a...
Die Euro 2020 Fiver: Engeland. Italië. It’s on!
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The weekend is nearly upon us and there’s only one question on everyone’s minds: is football coming back to Weird Uncle Fiver’s place or is it off to shack up with a bunch of hot Italians? No one knows the answer to t...
Die Euro 2020 Fiver: thrills for fans of sport and splatter movies alike
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The Fiver’s so excited it’s got joy stains [Tin spills, obviously – Fiver Ed]. Tis the day of the big Euro semi-final, Die genie is om 'n trefferprogram te maak wat daarop gebaseer is dat ons kykers kyk wat TV kyk en kommentaar lewer op wat hulle, the one between two countries who have a long and proud history of collecting silverware and ...
Die Euro 2020 Fiver: hangovers brought on by excessive carousing
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England’s footballers weren’t the only folk to spend Sunday undertaking what is known in the trade as a “recovery session”. While Harry Maguire, Luke Shaw and chums spent the day happily gadding about on inflatable un...
Die Euro 2020 Fiver: trying to recreate Wigan’s famous FA Cup victory
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The Euros have reached the quarter-finals stage and the first thing to note is that only two of the countries who made it that far at Euro 2016 have repeated the feat five years later. That should prompt reflection ab...
Die Euro 2020 Fiver: intussen, in club football …
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Allegations have been made that if you read The Fiver backwards it contains hidden messages, often Satanic. There have also been claims that if you read it the right way, The Fiver is witty. A load of xollob, naturall...
Die Euro 2020 Fiver: smearing oneself in the scent of Stuart Pearce
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It’s England v Germany! In the Euros! At Wembley! Bloody hell! It’s going to be a thriller, is dit nie?! Wel, um, let’s not get our hopes up too much, eh? With EN 2020 using up its quota of Madcap Drama Chips on Manic ...
Die Euro 2020 Fiver: Frank de Boer complaining in the Scooby-Doo style
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It had all been going so well for the Dutch. Three games, three wins, nine points in the bank and, whisper it, talk that Euro Not 2020 could be painted a vibrant shade of oranje. Even Frank de Boer, who rode into this...
Die Euro 2020 Fiver: Scotland’s floorshow reaches its last dance
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In 1954 Scotland went out in the group stage. In 1958 Scotland went out in the group stage. In 1974 Scotland went out in the group stage. In 1978 Scotland went out in the group stage. In 1982 Scotland went out in the ...
Die Euro 2020 Fiver: bumbling around like a badger trapped on a motorway
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“Boooooooooooooooooooooo!” That’s the horrible noise that woke us this morning, reader. What a racket, we thought, before checking the wardrobe to make sure we hadn’t been visited by the spectral presence of Great Gra...
Die Euro 2020 Fiver
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It’s England v Scotland tonight: there’s your Friday Fiver! Buh-bye! After proudly presenting this big-match preview to The Man at 7.01am, The Fiver strolled out of Fiver Towers, whistling Friday I’m in Love and sali...
Die Euro 2020 Fiver: exfoliating Pogba’s back like a garra rufa fish
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If the capital of France is Paris, the capital of Paris is Pogba; how else to explain the obsessive focus on the work of one individual in a team of world-beating world champions? But here we are so here we are, and i...
The Fiver
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Exactly why the honest folk and true of Her Majesty’s Government have decided that a big new performative dollop of bellicose patriotism is necessary to take everyone’s attention away from the omnishambles of the last...
The Fiver Where there is life in the form of Everton at home, there is always hope
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Currently in seventh place, their spiritual league table home, Everton have the luxury of two games in hand over the half-dozen teams above them. Winning both those games would catapult them past Liverpool, Chelsea an...