On Late Night, Seth Meyers discussed the “damning new details” that have emerged over the 6 January Capitol attack and Trump’s involvement.
Allegedly, the president was urged by his advisers not to announce his 2024 bid for re-election after the Taliban took control of Afghanistan. He was told to be patient but as Meyers said, it’s a foregone conclusion. “Assuming he’s not gonna run again is like hitting Michael Myers with a car and thinking the movie’s over," Egli ha detto.
For Trump, being president again would help him hide from the many legal issues he is facing. “He treats the job less like a massive responsibility and more like a safe base in a game of middle school tag," Egli ha detto.
Nikki Haley, the former US ambassador to the UN, has recently stated her respect for “friend” Trump and how she doesn’t want to go back to the days before him. “What was wrong with the days before Trump? Too many alive people? Not enough breaking news alerts?” Meyers asked.
He referred to him as an “amoral reality show psycho” who his cronies still dote on because they want to be attached to his form of showbusiness even though they know his true nature.
“Republicans are like the rich housewife who finds lipstick on her husband’s collar and tells her friend, ‘He said he got it because he slipped and fell into a makeup counter,’” he joked.
Trump reportedly pressured Mike Pence to help overturn the result by calling him a wimp and a bad friend. Meyers said he “used the same tactic as a 14-year-old trying to convince his friend to steal a KitKat from a convenience store”.
Pence too has now relented on earlier unease over what happened and has off-handedly referred to the insurrection as “one day in January”.
“One Day in January makes it sound like a sports movie starring Al Pacino as a past his prime football coach,” Meyers quipped.
On The Late Show, Stefano Colbert referred to Trump as “The Big Lie-bowski” and referred to the Senate report on his attempt to overturn the election.
It alleges that he wanted the acting attorney general, Jeffrey Rosen, to meet with Rudi Giuliani to look at options. “That’s a tough sell,” Colbert commented before joking that they would have to meet “next to the dumpster behind the discount dildo shop”.
Rosen wasn’t open to the idea of overturning so Trump then tried to replace him with loyalist Jeffrey Clark who saw a way of doing it because he had “spent a lot of time reading on the internet”. Colbert joked that it “turns out missing ballots are the one clear trick to cure belly fat”.
Colbert also found time to comment on the bizarre Diane Keaton cameo in the new Justin Bieber video. Egli ha detto: “she either plays his love interest, his mom or Diane Keaton who just walked on to the set of a Justin Bieber video.”
On a different tack, the Daily Show’s Trevor Noah spoke about the 18 former NBA players charged with conspiracy to commit health fraud.
“Why are we surprised?" Egli ha detto. “Pretending to be hurt is a huge part of playing in the NBA.”
Ha aggiunto: “Once you retire, you gotta make money somehow. I mean what’s more dishonest: stealing money from the health fund or Shaq claiming that Papa John’s is good pizza.”
Noah also said there could be an unexpected benefit. “It’s gonna be great news for whatever jail is about to get the best prison basketball team of all time," Egli ha detto.