My husband just told me he is bisexual. Should I be worried about our future?

My husband and I have been together for 16 years and have two kids. He recently told me he’s bisexual. I was shocked and feel uncomfortable thinking of him having sex with men. I am not homophobic, but I just didn’t think my husband liked men. After asking him if he has urges he needs to fulfil, he said maybe bisexual was the wrong word and that he’s just attracted to the male physique. I feel like now he’s not being completely honest. I’m also worried that he will want to have sex with men and not want me as much.

It is never easy for a person to come out, and it can be equally hard for a partner to learn that his sexual orientation may be different from what it seemed. Try not to “catastrophise” this situation. Your partner married you, and you have so far been confident about his desire for you. Nothing has really changed – he has simply tried to share something important about who he truly is. Whether he will want to act on his interest in men is a separate matter that may need to be discussed and negotiated at some later point and I understand that that may seem threatening to you.

It is understandable, too, that the revelation came as a shock, but the best thing you can do right now is to reward him for opening up to you and do your best to make him feel safe enough to share more.

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