ño doubt I speak for every woman on Earth when I say this: 谢谢你, 火星! When I was a little girl I felt as if I could never be my authentic self because of the way the green M&中号 mascot used to dress. Every time I saw her tottering around in advertisements wearing white go-go boots and fluttering her long eyelashes, a little part of me would die inside. Although young, I recognised something profound: women would only be free when multinationals allowed anthropomorphised chocolate to wear sensible shoes.
At long last, that time has come. 上个星期, Mars Wrigley, the international purveyor of sugary goods, announced that it was revamping (或者, 相当, de-vamping) its six M&M characters to promote inclusivity. Most notably: the green one is switching out boots for trainers and the brown one is swapping stilettos for kitten heels. It is kind of questionable that they are still forcing the brown one into heels of any kind if you ask me. 尽管如此, it is still a massive step forward for feminism.
没有办法。”所以米克尔森清楚地知道困扰与沙特阿拉伯的任何关系的问题，但, Fox News is not quite so enthusiastic about the fact that chocolate characters that nobody with more than one brain cell gives a damn about are updating their footwear. “M&Ms will not be satisfied until every last cartoon character is deeply unappealing and totally androgynous,” Fox host Tucker Carlson recently railed. “Until the moment you wouldn’t want to have a drink with any one of them. That’s the goal. When you’re totally turned off, we’ve achieved equity.”
Yikes, ladies! We were supposed to keep that part of the 2022 feminist agenda secret. Who let Carlson in on the strategy? 仍然, since we are showing our hand here, let me warn conservatives that fem&minism is just the beginning of the corporate inclusivity revolution. We are not going to rest until Tony the Tiger comes out as non-binary. They’re brrrrrrrave!