Stephen Colbert discussed the failure of the Biden administration landmark voting rights bill to pass a procedural vote on Tuesday, as the For the People Act was left stranded in a 50-50 stalemate along party lines. “Republicans instead supported the ‘For Some of the People – We Can’t Say It Out Loud But You Know Which Ones We Mean Act,’” Colbert joked.
“Republicans had a lot of stupid explanations for blocking the bill,” he added. “But the creme de la dumb” came from Mitch McConnell, who said before the vote “the Senate is only an obstacle when the policy is flawed … today the Senate is going to fulfill its founding purpose.”
“Yes, the Senate’s founding purpose: to do nothing,” Colbert retorted.
In other news, Donald Trump taunted conspiracy-addled supporters who believe he’ll be reinstated as president this August with a chipper, and fraudulent, “2024 or before!” in a statement to conservative outlet RSB News.
“Nah,” Colbert said to boos from the audience. “I think you’re 2021 and done.”
Trump’s inner circle seems to be shrinking, as CNN reported that Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner had been distancing themselves from the former president and his “constant complaints”. “That complaint?” Colbert said, breaking out his Trump impression – “why does he get to date my daughter, doesn’t seem fair. We’re both family.”
The feeling appears to be mutual, as CNN also reported there was jealousy from the former president over Kushner’s seven-figure book deal. “Early reports are Jared’s book is going to be a lot like Jared – glossy and no spine,” Colbert quipped.
“We’re constantly reminded, even five months after he left office, that Trump’s response to the pandemic was somehow much worse and much crazier than we even knew at the time,” said Seth Meyers on Wednesday’s Late Night. “Every day we keep hearing new details about his time in office thanks to what seems like a never-ending parade of tell-all books scheduled for publication, each filled with more damning new details about just how much of a sociopath he was.”
Meyers referred specifically to the forthcoming Nightmare Scenario: Inside the Trump Administration’s Response to the Pandemic That Changed History, by Yasmeen Abutaleb and Damian Paletta, two reporters at the Washington Post, which revealed that early in the pandemic, Trump suggested sending infected Americans stuck on cruise ships to Guantánamo Bay.
“Don’t we have an island that we own?” he asked the White House Situation Room in February 2020. “What about Guantánamo?”
“Only Trump would refer to Guantánamo Bay as an island that we own,” Meyers said. “It’s such a reminder that he will always first and foremost be a real estate guy.”
“It would’ve been hilarious watching Trump try to rebrand Guantánamo as a fun place for people to spend a week,” he added with his own Trump impression: “Welcome to Guantán-a-lago Spa & Resort, make sure you check out the bay, I’m sure it is full of pigs!”
“Also, was there like a fantasy football draft, but for the stories each staffer got to tell for their books?” Meyers continued, mocking a staffer – “I can’t decide between the time he wanted to send cruise ship passengers to Gitmo, or the time he asked if he could legally send Seal Team 6 to rough up Lorne Michaels.”
And in Los Angeles, Jimmy Kimmel lambasted “Top Karen in Congress” Marjorie Taylor Greene and her so-called “Fire Fauci” Act. The conspiracy-laced measure would not actually fire Dr Fauci, but rather reduce his salary to zero. “Isn’t it amazing she thinks she deserves the $100k we pay her a year and he doesn’t?” Kimmel marveled.
“Klan mom accuses Dr Fauci of failing to provide people with accurate information about the Covid-19 pandemic,” he explained. “This is from the woman who believes Hillary Clinton eats baby meat and pepperoni on her pizzas.”
“Meanwhile, Marjorie’s personal lord and savior Donald Trump is – I don’t know what’s going on,” Kimmel continued. “Trump’s inner circle is almost as small as his hands right now. Even Jared and Ivanka are said to be distancing themselves on Presi-daddy.
“Trump is reportedly so distant from Ivanka he’s started calling her Eric, which is really sad,” he joked.