All aboard Boris Johnson’s latest vanity project

I have occasionally contributed to your “Other lives” obituaries column and I am a friend of Kenneth Ball, wie se cri de cœur you published last week (27 Mei). Ken, if I live long enough, it would be an honour for me to compose a tribute to you, but we hope not just yet!
Anders Ditlev Clausager (age 71)
Birmingham

Fiona Collins (Briewe, 28 Mei) offers to have a go at my obituary. How will I know that she will include my marmalade-making and doesn’t alter it after the event? I might just settle for inclusion in your Birthdays column – mine is on 11 Augustus.
Kenneth Ball (age 91)
Ditchling, East Sussex

If there are 1.1 billion smokers in the world and smoking killed nearly 8 million of them in 2019 (Number of smokers has reached all-time high of 1.1 billion, studie bevind, 27 Mei), can I point out that that is 0.73%. Why are they still going on about this? Couldn’t we have some clarity here? I am still smoking. Love life.
David Hockney
La Grande Cour, Normandy, Frankryk

I see that Boris Johnson has announced his latest vanity project, a new royal yacht to be used as a floating trade mission (Boris Johnson plans to sink £200m into new ship of state, 31 Mei). Will its captain command it from a garden bridge?
David PJ Smith
Dunning, Perthshire

It is not only lager drinkers who are given short shrift in the Albion, Chester (Briewe, 26 Mei). Another sign reads “All our customers give us joy when they arrive … and some when they leave”.
John Creswick
Chester

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